


History of Early Christianity

by lea_hazel



Category: Community
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, College, Crush, F/M, Female Friendship, Gen, Jeff is a hypocrite, Nerdiness, brief mention of jellyfish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_hazel/pseuds/lea_hazel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is inappropriate to imply that Annie has crushes on Greendale professors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	History of Early Christianity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [automaticdoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/automaticdoor/gifts).



_today in hoec I learned what the jesus fish does lol_

Just before Christmas break, Annie and Shirley made a deal, that they could each pick out one class they thought the other should take. It didn't work. Instead they devised an alternate deal: Shirley agreed to take a class on evolution, if Annie agreed to take a class on Christianity. So it was that she ended up dropping Shakespeare's Sonnets and taking History of Early Christianity, instead. Greendale being Greendale, it ended up being her favorite class of the spring semester.

"Don't you wish you'd gone to the Revolutionary War class with me and Troy?" asked Britta one day at lunch. "You already know everything they're teaching, it'd be easy."

"Plus, you'd never have to stay after class and miss half of lunch," added Troy.

"Guys!" said Annie. "I came to Greendale to learn new things, this is good for me!"

"She's blushing," said Jeff without looking up from his smartphone. "She's not staying behind to ask questions, she's staying for a boy."

Britta and Shirley oohed and ahed.

"It's just so happens, _Jeff_ ," said Annie, "that I _am_ staying behind to ask questions. Do you know why? Because this class is _fascinating_ , and Professor Carlisle is very--" 

"Carlisle, huh?" said Jeff. "That's a hot guy name. Your professor is hot, Annie, isn't he?  _That's_ why you're staying behind, to ogle the man whose wisdom and learning you should be soaking up. To reduce this brilliant, highly educated individual to nothing but a piece of flesh, an object for your sordid co-ed fantasies." 

"Jeff," said Britta, " _ew_." 

"Is this true, Annie?" asked Shirley. "I mean, I know education is important to you, and that's nice, but I think we'd all like you to meet a nice young man. Nice, and young. Under thirty this time, please." 

"Could everyone please stop talking about Professor Carlisle that way?" Annie begged. "It's not...  _seemly_ ." 

"Ooh," said Britta. "You  _do_ like him. How's his butt?" 

"Britta, that's not nice," said Shirley and, turning back to Annie, added, "but seriously, does the man have a personable hiney? That's very important when you're twenty one." 

"Shirley!" said Annie. "I thought you wanted me to settle down with someone nice!" 

"Shoosh, girl, you're not going to marry the man! You're twenty one, go for the man with the scrumptious tush. You'll have time to pick out a father for your children later." 

"What is going on here?" asked Troy with a horrified expression. "Where else is this conversation going to go?" 

"Troy, don't give them ideas," said Jeff. "Ladies, you are vultures. Stop preying on the male faculty! They're not here for your entertainment." 

"You begged your Statistics professor to sleep with you!" said Britta. 

"Yes," agreed Jeff, "but we all know  _I'm_ a hypocrite. Now, why would you want to soil poor, sweet, innocent Annie?" 

"I was asking him about the Day of Pentacost! I wasn't looking at his butt!" cried Annie, but no one was listening to her. 

Shirley patted her hand. "You don't have to tell us, if you don't want to," she said helpfully. 

Annie sighed. "Thanks, I guess." 

But Shirley went on. "I wanted to tell you, Annie, how glad I am that you're enjoying this class so much. When we first made our little agreement, I was worried that we would both hate our classes, and it would drive a wedge between us." 

"Aww..." said Annie, touched. "Nothing could wedge me from you, Shirley, you know that." 

Shirley smiled. "And, I wanted to thank you. If it weren't for you, I never would have thought of signing up for a class on evolution. It turns out I like it. Who knew jellyfish could be so interesting?" 

Annie smiled. "Looks like we both drew the long straw." 

"Oh, that's nice," said Shirley, smiling. 

Annie lowered her voice to a whisper. "And, well, the teacher is kind of cute. He has freckles!" 

"Called it," said Jeff, holding out his open palm. "Ten bucks. Each. Cough up." 

Britta, Troy and Pierce all started digging through their pockets. 


End file.
